* Bila Hati Berbelah bagi *

Knape yea hati berbelah bagi .. ?! Mesti tertanye2 an .. Sbb cinta lg ker .. ?! X la .. asyik cite psl cinta jer , bosan gak kdg2 .. hehehehe .. Actually , sy nk cite yg sy da xde hati nk keje kat cnie lg .. Kat mane tu yea .. ?! Kat Philea Resort & Spa , Ayer Keroh , Melaka .. Ntah la .. Sy x tau lar plak knaper tp, trase cam da xde mood sgt2 nk keje kat cnie .. Sy rase cam nk b'henti keje pown ade gak ..

Actually , sy rase da kerap sgt sy b'tukar keje .. Mezti org pk knaper an .. Ade yg silap sy sndr & ade gak silap tmpt keje sy .. Management problem slh 1 punce .. Tp, orang kat tmpt keje pown main kn peranan .. Kdg2 byk bnde yg menguji bila kita dalam dunie pekerjaan .. Tambah2 lg tuk org cam sy nie .. Sy x dpt nk further study so , sy start keje dr abez spm lg .. Keje adalah bnde yg plg pntg dlm idop sy ..

Sbnrnyer , jauh di sudut hati , sy nk sgt jd student cam kwn2 sy .. Dpt study dlm class ngan course yg diowg minat .. Dpt join xtiviti college or university diowg .. Dpt have fun as a student .. Actually , bl da keje nie pown blh have fun .. Kdg2 lg best coz rase cam dewase jer tp, syg nyer mmg di usie sy nie spatutnyer sy mengejar cite2 kat menara gading .. Tp , jgn slh phm .. X sume insan yg x pg blaja 2 sbb dye x pndai .. sy x kate plak yg sy pandai .. tp, sy mmg ade dpt tawaran tp, ape yg sy blh kate kn xde rezki .. Xde rezki dr segi yg cane 2 , biar lah sy pendam sndr ..

Bila masuk dunie pekerjaan , laen plak ragam nyer .. B'bekal kn SPM jer sy cr makan .. Alhamdulillah , rezki sy masih ade .. Cume klu ade certificate len , mgkn sy blh demand lg lar .. tp, ape yg sy nmpk , dunie skrg nie andai kt ade certificate , tu bkn lesen yg kt akn dpt kejer .. Klu kt xde pngalaman pown susah org nk trime .. Almaklumlah , majikan akan anggap yg kt akan memerlukan petolongan yg lbh dr pihak atasan b'banding ngan org yg b'pngalaman , diowg lbh senang tuk wat kejer sndr .. tp, majikan pown harus fikir , klu bkn majikan tu bagi dye peluang tuk b'kerja , cane orang 2 nk dpt pngalaman .. Sbagai majikan , diowg kene percaya pd staff2 diowg sbb kemampuan diowg hanye akn t'uji bl diowg dibekalkan tugas2 diowg .. Tyme 2 la majikan leh tahu keupayaan staff2 diowg .. Then br lah blh nilai .. Itulah gune nye prohibition dlm dunie pekerjaan ..

Alamak , jauh plak melalut .. Point asal nk citer da xde mood nk keje .. hahahaa .. Anyaway , sy just share ape yg sy rase lar .. Whatever it is , renung2 kan dan slamat menilai .. Hehehehe .. :)

* Mudah Ker Mencari Pengganti ?!?!?! *

Bl sy publish status nie kat fb , http://www.facebook.com/mobileprotection#!/permalink.php?story_fbid=227560393922013&id=100000041624015&notif_t=feed_comment ,
pelbagai comment + respond yg sy trime .. salah 1 nyer , cepat nyer dpt pengganti .. hmmm .. Kdg2 complicated nyer persoalan nie bg sy .. Sbnrnyer , bkn mudah tuk kt mencari pengganti .. Soal hati + perasaan nie kt xkn dpt menduge .. Sy akui , adakalanya mudah tuk kt menerima pengganti tp sukar tuk kt menerime pengganti tu sepenuh hati .. tp, klu difikirkn kembali , smpai bl kt nk hidup dlm kenangan lalu .. ?! Cube fikir , andai kt hidup di dlm kenangan , adakah kenangan tu yg akan membantu kt seandainyer kt jatuh , adakah kenangan tu yang akan mencerahkn masa depan kt .. Adakah kenangan tuk yg akan membantu kt tuk berjaya .. ?! Kenangan tu mgkn sbahagian dr cabaran tuk kt buktikan yg kt mampu tuk milki kehidupan yg lbh sempurne tp, x b'makne kt mesti hidup dlm knangan tu ..

Laen org laen cr nye dan bg sy pula , da smpai masenye tuk sy fikirkn mase dpn sy .. Even pahit tuk dterima tp, sy mmg maseh syg kn ex sy tp, jauh di sudut hati , sy da x mengharapkn ape2 dr dye .. sbb sy tau dye da buang sy jauh dr hati dye so, untuk ape sy tunggu dye .. Tanpe dye sedar , byk da rahsie yg sy tahu .. Bagaimane sy tahu , biar lah ia menjadi rahsie sy ..

Untuk insan yg kini setia di sisi sy , sy mengharap kn yg t'baek tuk kt even hakikatnyer t'lalu byk kelemahan sy dlm hubungan nie tp, sy akn cube buat yg t'baek .. 1 permintaan sy , tlg fahami dr sy kerana itu lah yg sgt2 sy harapkn dr awk .. Sy mendoakan tuk kt kekal slamenyer .. Biar pown msg2 punye kenangan sndr tp, biarlah ia jd pengajaran tuk hubungan kt .. Jangan buang kenangan kt krn kenangan itu lah yg mengajar kt erti cinta tp, cipte kenangan antare kt dengan kasih syg kt sndr ..

Walau ape pown berlaku , hidup harus diteruskn .. Cinta itu buta tp , jgn sesekali jd bute krn cinta .. Kerana cinta yg t'agung adalh cinta pd Yg-Esa ..

Untuk si dye (Abdul Malek b. Hassan) : Sy nk awk tau walau xde insan yg sempurne dlm dunie nie tp, awk tetap sempurne di hati sy .. !!!

* Pengorbanan Seorang Bonda *

Hari nie sy keje mlm .. Ntah la .. Cam xde mood nk siapkn keje yg da sememang nyer b'timbun .. Hmm .. Sy pown x tau ape yg x kene ngan diri sy nie .. Sejak akhir2 nie , sy dihimpit ngan pelbagai persoalan hidup .. kdg2 sy rase kn hidup nie rumit tp, sy tahu kehidupan nie adalah yg paling indah buat insan yg b'gelar manusie .. Sy melalui kehidupan yang diwarnai dengan pelbagai corak dan gaye .. Sy t'detik tuk bercerita serba ringkas kisah seorang insan ..

Sy mengenali sesorang yg sy boleh gelarkan nye sbagai "BONDA" .. X perlu la sy cite kn sape dr bonda yg sbenar .. Sy kehilangan emak sejak sy b'usie 5 tahun tp, bl sy mengenali insan nie , sy rase sgt2 bertuah .. Insan ini x kn pernah dpt menggantikan arwah emak sy tp, dye tetap bonda yg baek pd sy .. sy lihat sndr bonda melalui kehidupannya .. Di raut wajahnye sntiase t'pamer senyuman .. Walau penat , walau sakit , tanggungjwb tetap dilaksanekn .. Sbagai seorang emak kpd anak2, seorang isteri kpd suami , seorang menantu kpd mertuanyer , sy dpt rase kn betapa berat nye tanggungjwb yg tergalas di bahunyer .. Bkn niat untuk mengaibkn org or membuke pekong sape2 coz sy pown x mention sape diri sbnar insan nie tp, sayu hati nie bl b'borak ngan bonda , bonda mengalirkan air mate .. Terluah ape yg dipendam slame nie .. Betapa bonda x mampu tuk penuhi kehendak sume org tp, bonda tetap tunaikan setiap permintaan .. betapa bonda mengorbankn sisa2 hidupnyer untuk menjadi yg t'baek tuk insan2 yg disayanginyer ..

Terbayang wajah arwah emak .. Sy tahu arwah emak pown penah melalui pelabagai rintangan dlm idop sehingga ke akhir nafasnyer .. Begitu juga Bonda .. Cume jln cerita kehidupan mereka berbeza .. Dan bile sy pandang wajah bonda , sy dpt rase kn ade saat nyer bonda pown terluka dan terseksa .. X pernah dberi ruang tuk menikmati kehidupan di usie tua nyer sejak tanggungjwb menjage mertue tergalas di bahunyer .. Sentiase mengikut kehendak suami wlau suami x pernah memahami dirinyer .. Setia melayan kerenah anak2 walau bonda sbnrnyer mengharap kn anak2 yg menjage nyer .. Tabah menjage mertuanyer walau dye bukanlah meantu kesayangan ..

Adakale nyer , bonda tak dapat keluar berjln2 mcm org len .. Bl bonda keluar lame ckit , pasti suami nye x senang duduk .. Klu tak slh sy , dlm Islam pown ade mengatakn , seorang suami seharusnyer membantu isterinyer .. tp, dlm hubungan bonda , sy dpt lihat suami bonda sntiase b'harap pd bonda .. Sgalenyer bonda yg uruskn .. Sy mule t'fikir tp, x minta la , andainyer bonda tiada , camne la suami bonda nk urus kn idop sndr yea .. ?!?!?! Anak2 pula bagaikan x mampu urus kn diri sndr .. Klu skali skale minta bonda tunaikn permintaan mereka x pe tp, stiap mase sume bnde bonda uruskn tuk mereka .. Bkn lah mereka teruk tp, sgt jarang mereka membantu bonda .. Mertua bonda pula laen kerenah nyer .. Mak mertua bonda dulu x pernah kesah kn kesusahan bonda .. X penah peduli psl keluarge bonda .. Smpai kn keluarge bonda sungguh rendah do matenyer .. Tp, saat dye x mampu tuk bangun , bonda la yg setia menjage makan , minum dan pakai nyer .. Smpai bonda sekat sgale ruang tuk diri sndiri demi penuhi kehendak insan di sekeliling nyer .. Mulia nyer hati seorang bonda ..

Sbnrnyer , sy dpt rase kn , di usie yg begini, bonda sgt mengharapkn tuk menghabiskan sisa hidupnyer dengan tenang .. Sy ingin melihat bonda berehat secukupnyer , makan sekenyangnyer , tyto setenangnyer supaye bonda sentiase t'senyum dgn rela .. Andai sy mampu , ingin sy sediakan seorang pembantu rumah untuk membantu bonda .. Supaye bonda x penat seperti selalu .. Tapi , maaf kn sy sbb itu semua di luar kemampuan sy .. tp, janji sy, sy akan tetap menyayangi dan menjage bonda mcm sy menyayangi arwah emak sy .. Sy akan sntiase cube buat yg t'baek tuk bonda .. SY SAYANG BONDA .. !!!

p/s : " Jgn difikirkn siapa diri sebenar bonda tapi , kenang kn pengorbanan bonda .. !!! "

* I'm Awake From A Dream *

Welcome back everyone .. I'll continue next episode of my life .. Well .. I don't have much time to update my post since I'm not always online .. I think I have updated a lot of things about my past relationship isn't .. ?! Alright .. I'm thinking to rest my mind for awhile from thinking about my past relationship but not to forget about it since I still have a lot of things to share about it .. Just to share something else in this post..

Well .. I believe whoever had failed in their relationship or love , they gonna find someone else to let them forget the past .. Same goes to me even my heart is not really hunting for it .. In this few months after became single , I had found new friends .. I also keep in touch with my old friend that I've never contact them for quite long time .. I found that I still have a lot of persons that really sincere to take care of myself .. It's really difficult to believe each and everyone of them as I had no more trust for the guys but still I can't jump to the conclusion .. By the time , I'm still keep getting closure to everyone around me .. Sometimes I had hurting other's heart because of my past as I really can't let it go .. I'm so sorry but I need time and need someone to understand myself .. Tried to think like others , let by gone be by gone but it's not that easy .. Too bad when I can't even stop thinking about my ex-hubby .. How I'm gonna thru my day .. ?!

Whatever it is , I'm still satisfied cause I had wake up from the dream .. "Someone" had came into my life and make my day with a coloufull dream .. Yes .. He is not perfect and for sure not like my ex-hubby but he never forced me for any reason .. Always let me find my life and go thru the day with a smile even I'm hurting inside my heart .. He always be by my side and always be a good listener for my past story .. Well , not everyone can take it right .. ?! yes ..

Should I accept him or let he find another girl .. !!! Answer is with me but I'll share next episode later on so that, you guys can help me to find the answer .. !!!

* Are "SHE" is my true Friend *

Friend .. Simple word but a lot of meaning .. I do have a lot of friends but too hard for me to find a true friend .. Let me story in directly .. It's not to put a blame on anyone but I believe all of u guys able to think wisely .. I knew her when I'm working in one of the company .. I do trust her as for me she is a friend and a younger sister .. I don't mind to share anything as long as she's happy with her life cause I knew how hard for her to go thru his life with a lot of problem coming and going .. I do understand as I also have been in her situation but different life and family ..

Can u guys imagine , when i tried to share about my relationship problem with her , she's keep giving a lot of excuse but when my-ex updating her FB wall, she will be the same person who always commented on his wall .. At first , I thought she do not want to involve in our problem but it's difinitely wrong ..

After both of us no longer together , not even 1 week we broke off , I met her with my-ex in a restaurant where I and my-ex always be there to have our lunch as the place recommended by our friend .. When I look at her , she just look at me like we never know each other .. I might understand if she do not recognize me as I just cut my hair .. But unexpected when she just sit on the chair , both of them discussing on something and then they just walked out from the restaurant .. I and my friend just look at them and I keep thinking what is their status .. ?! Are they in a relationship .. ?! If u guys in my situation , what is your query and what is the answer for your query .. ?!

* The meaningfull songs *

http://http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ljt7depdO8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSgGJcv2J2U

* Febuary *

This month was really a headache month .. A lot of thing happen to me .. I'm always praying to have a good year for the year of 2011 but too bad when I have to face a lot of terrible and ridicilous moments in my life ..


About my work , I'm still looking for suitable job .. I had tried a lot of works but still have to face a lot of obstacles to get a better job .. I'm always asking to myself , am i made a wrong decision before .. ?! Why everything getting worse .. Especially my relationship .. !!!



Talikng about my relationship , what a bad month when I have to accept the fact that he is not mine anymore .. !!! At the end of Febuary , we had broke off .. Damn sad .. Very unexpected moment .. Just to share not to get sympathy from anyone .. I do admit that I made a lot of mistakes in our relationship but why he suddenly change .. ?! Why he can't accept my explanation .. ?! Yes .. I'm not perfect and I do understand that I'm not the right person for him but can he please end our relationship nicely .. ?!?! Not to put blame on anyone but I'm really can't accept this ..



We had planned for a lot of things for our future but it seems like just a dream for us .. Finally our dream become the dream for him and someone else .. 20112011 .. I'll never forget all the things and moments that we had shared together .. Seiously it too hard .. 27th Febuary 2011 , on the day I suppose to register for my part time study but I didn't do that as I was broke off with him .. !!! Damn .. I just need last change but , I'll never get it .. Who am I to be treated nicely as he said useless even to treat me like a princess .. Yes .. I do admit that I'm bad .. And for the sentence I'll always keep it in my mind and thanx to him for remind me about myself .. From now onwards , I'll remind myself to always be ware with everyone around me .. !!!

The most important thing , I hope I can be strong to face all this things .. Wish me luck and please pray for my happiness .. And for him , If u read this blog , I want u to know that I'll never stop loving u until end of my life cause u are my first love .. I really mean that .. !!!

* After All *

Hype everyone .. Long time no update for my blog since my last post on new year .. I'm so sorry .. Anyway, a lot of things happen to me in year 2011 .. From January until today ..



January ..

Nothing much happen in this month .. Just that I'm still keep jumping for work from 1 company to 1 company .. I don't know why but feel like can't find suitable job for me here .. What a bad luck for me ..

Talk about my relationship , it's getting complicated .. I'm keep thinking for the reason .. What I can said , it's all about MONEY and TRUSTWORTHY .. Yeah .. Some people can say money is everything .. some people say , love is much more important rather than money .. Everyone have their own opinion depend on their situation .. as my situation , I can see my relationship getting worst because of money .. A part of that , Trustworthy also one of the important thing .. We did make a lot of mistake and I admit that .. Just one thing that can be highlighted , please don't ever stop my interest or interrupt my friendship before you become my husband .. After all , I have to take this serious .. I mean it after everyone who come to my life and keep argue with a lot of the things in my life and finally, they leave me with painful .. Should I let myself to be treated in that way for 2nd and 3rd time .. ?! No way man .. I'll never let it happen again .. Watch out .. !!!

** Ku Rindu Kan DYE yg dulu **

Awk ..

Sy sgt windu kn diri awk yg dl .. awk yg sy knl sejak tahun 2006 dl .. Knaper sume nyer brubah yea ..?! Slh sy ker atau hubungan nie mmg da smpai ker penghujung nyer.?! Demi Allah , sy sgt2 mrndukan diri awk yg dl .. Walau mmg sy yg b'salah tp, knaper smpai tahap mcm nie awk brubah .. ?! Tawar aty nie awk .. Sy hilang xcited tuk sume perancangan kite tahun nie .. 4 tahun benar2 mrubah dr masing2 .. yea .. manusie brubah .. sy juge brubah .. Sekarang , sume nyer hilang .. xder kemesraan mcm dl .. xder gelak tawe .. sume nyer berganti tangisan hiba ..

Kalau dulu , x pernah skali awk izin kn sy mnangis sdey .. Awk slaloo cube hepy kn sy .. Sentiase memahami sy .. Stiap saat awk hibur kn sy .. tp, skrg .. Bl awk t'tekan , sume jd laen .. Sume serba x kene .. Smpai sy takowt tuk b'suare .. Knape yea ..?! Smpai sy rase kn sy x layak tuk dr awk .. smpai sy rase kn ader insan yg lbh bek tuk awk .. Pernah terdetik kat aty nie untuk undur diri .. Nk sgt tgk awk epy .. Sy sanggup pergi klu kbahgiaan awk ngn insan laen .. sy rela andai itu suratan nyer .. Asalkn awk jd dr awk yg sy knl dl..

Ssjujur nyer sy terluke .. dan sy tau awk pown terluke .. Kdg2 ade baik nyer kt berjauhan dr kt dkt mcm nie .. Kdg2 sy pk bek sy sndr jer dr b'due .. Klu sy blh putar mase , sy nk sgt tyme kt mule2 jumper blk dl .. Sy nk mase 2 kekal smpai skunk .. X nk b'ubah wlu sesaat pown ..

Awk .. Sy harap sgt kt jd mcm dl .. Ktawe bersame .. Epy together .. Hmmm ..



Miss our Happy moments ..

HAPPY NEW YEAR

Happy New Year everyone .. Tahun nie 2011.. Dgn azam + smangat br .. serta perancangan yg pelbagai .. Moge taun nie segale aper yg dirancang kn akn tercapai .. moge dberikn kekuatan dan ktabahan tuk mengharungi sume dugaan + cabaran dlm tahun nie .. Alhamdulillah .. tahun ne dmulakn dgn niat yg bersih .. sume blocklist di FB , MS + Tagged da di clear kn .. kt tetap frens 4 ever + ever .. Maaf atas sgale keterlanjuran kate + tingkah laku yg byk menyinggung aty + prasaan sesaper .. Aper pown . let's start our new year wth 0 -0 .. Ok .. With luv .. Muahhxx .. xoxo ..